Wednesday, September 19, 2007

taking a simple test

Recently a friend sent me this link to "The Tibetan Personality Test" which supposedly is endorsed by the Dalai Lama himself. He of whom we have a photo. Story to come next. Anyway, you answer four questions and the answers determine your priorities in life, what you think of certain things in your life, where certain people stand in your life (Val you and I are the same color for each other and my husband is red) and then the inevitable "if you don't send it to some many people in this time period, your wish will not come true."

So my wish probably won't come true since I don't usually send those things along. However, I do have to admit that sometimes they are kind of fun to take. I was discussing the results with Lady Trout and I mentioned that "family" came up as my top priority. Career and money being down at the bottom of the list. No surprises there. The family result I found to be amusing since being an only child of divorced parents, what posed for normal was certainly not the Norman Rockwell ideal.

She also thought that, actually, the family being my priority was accurate. She went on to comment, that she believed that I had reinvented the meaning of family. Perhaps I have. My family consists of not only my actual relatives and spouse, but also of friends who have become as close as siblings.

There are connections with friends not only on a surface level, such as mutual likes/dislikes, commonalities and whatnot, but on a soul level as well. Something you can't explain. Does this kind of deep connection mean that you've been with that person in another life? Some may think so. How would you explain it? There really are soul siblings as well as soul mates.

My sense of family has indeed been redefined over the years by learning one very important lesson: I don't believe that since you are related to someone, that gives them full autonomy to treat you in any way they choose. I mean really - why on earth would you EVER tolerate someone treating you poorly, being disrespectful, or rude just because you are related to them? Would you ever tolerate it from a stranger, co-worker, acquaintance or friend? No. Does being related somehow make it right or acceptable? No. What misplaced sense of obligation/loyalty causes this acceptance? And why would there be guilt that it's unacceptable?

To me, it is that black & white. It's not an excuse for "not making the best of unpleasant situations" or avoiding relatives so I don't have to deal with them. I have indeed learned the lesson they have for me.

Life is short and there are lessons to learn from all people who come into your life. Surround yourself with those who make you happy. Who makes you a better person? Who challenges your intellect? Choose to spend time with these people. And just do it. Frequently.

My family of choice is one that I wish upon everyone. They make me a better person. And, when it comes right down to it, shouldn't that be the goal of every family?

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