Saturday, October 27, 2007

a few minutes later

Shortly after my breakdown, Randy came into Loaded Joe's after his meeting. His first question was "do you want to meet my ex? she's right over there." Good grief. I was a blubbering mess of course. I knew the time of our meeting would come eventually and that I would be unprepared for it, but I had no idea that it would be when I couldn't have been more at my worst. At least I wasn't wearing sweatpants and my hair was not up in a ponytail.

She reminded me of my friend Susan a lot. Randy has also said that and if circumstances were different, that the ex and I would have been great friends. No I am not taking applications. She and Susan are both Leos (of course) and of the smart, tall and graceful variety. The kind of women that, not on purpose, make you feel slightly awkward and uneasy about measuring up. Whoa, echoes of being around BPs in high school (of which I certainly was not one). They both are practical jokers and love to torment those they love although I'm not sure that the ex ever would have given Randy a wedgie and gotten away with it.

She was everything that I am not: a very successful environmentalist who founded and runs the Gore Range Natural Science School who's also getting her PhD, has a boatload of other degrees, has been there and done that, is related to famous people, is pretty and well dressed. She was very gracious as Randy introduced us and explained that I was all red eyed and red nosed because I had just read my best friend's blog on my leaving and that it was the one piece that made me realize that we were not on vacation.

Of course, when you meet your spouse's ex, there is always the "how do I measure up" feeling and the general comparisons on all levels. How did I end up with Randy if that was who he was with before? Was it the Birkenstocks? Was it my Toyota Camry? Was it location, location, location? My witty turn of a phrase? My crazy hair? Was he indeed bribed by Susan? Who knows. Wow, without knowing what I was up against when I first met my husband, I guess I passed his test.

As I shook her hand and looked her in the eye, I was no longer intimidated or awkward. She was exactly the nice person who I imagined my husband would have been with and was proud that he dated her. Woops, did I just grow up here??


Susan said...

OH TELL ME MORE!!!! About how graceful I am, I mean.

I have never given your husband a wedgie.

Isn't it funny that under other circumstances Randy and your Tall Ex would have been great friends?

I bet the ex liked meeting you. It's nice when the people you were close to end up with someone fabulous.

Ebony said...

Great work.